as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
