I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
This is the high leading the old right now
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
