i barfeds in our rink
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
