i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
