omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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