He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
