my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Randomize
