saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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