before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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