walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
it was like eating out sand paper
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
