What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
