Do vagina's smell?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
