I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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