How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I think I am morally bankrupt
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize