dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
