Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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