So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
