They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
