Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
