just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
last night I used snow as a chaser
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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