I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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