I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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