Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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