I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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