this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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