i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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