I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Randomize
