I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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