the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize