there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I woke up under a house in Key West
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
