So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
