omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
