they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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