decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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