Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
