the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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