and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
