Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
do herpes really smell.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
There r osticjed everywhere
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
