she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
