Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
