ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
