can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
