life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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