Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
