Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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