I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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