i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I wish i was in the wii world.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
