You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
