pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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