I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
