what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
