Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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