This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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