I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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