4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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