ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
