just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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