you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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