and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
