Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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