Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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