Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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